Kids Writing

writing exercise

There are many ways to improve your writing. The first, and most obvious, is just to write more. With more practice you should get better. Part of that process is to get feedback from others. What we think we are writing is not always what is coming across to others.

It can be very difficult to put your work out there and get feedback. One problem, though, is that many people don’t want to hurt your feelings and just tell you “Oh, that’s great, loved it.” That doesn’t really help you because if all the feedback you get is so positive, once you submit to the world or even just to an agent or publisher, you’ll get devastated when told how bad things may be.

But that feedback is so very important because it is a great way to see where your writing lacks and how to improve it.

There are also various exercises you can do. For example – get a topic or situation and just write about it. I have several weekly contests I belong to that do just that. Each week they have a topic or story starter and you have to take that and make a full fledged story. It’s fun and helps because you may write something you may not have any other time. You stretch, which is a great way to get better at writing. It’s also nice to get feedback on these writings because you may not be so emotionally attached to it, so any feedback can be viewed with a more critical eye. That will carry over to your other writing.

Another exercise I like to do is re-writing. I take a section of a book and then re-write it in several ways. I’ve done this with Harry Potter and below I’m doing it with The Shining.

I did 2 sections from Stephen King’s book. They are in bold. I then rewrote it as you might as a new writer. I wrote it again as someone that is over compensating or that hasn’t learned to trim down their writing. Then I wrote it and made other word choices.

Am I saying I can write better than you or Stephen King? No, not at all. This is just an exercise meant to stretch my abilities. I could have chosen to rewrite it as my dog might write.  I could have chosen to write it like Charles Dicken’s might have written it. Whatever. You can also choose any book or passage. It’s probably a good idea to choose something not in your favorite genre at times.

I’m interested in what others think of my choices and if you’ve done this exercise yourself and what the results were.  Here is what I have for this one:

Jack came out onto the porch, tugging the tab of his zipper up under his chin, blinking into the bright air. In his left hand he was holding a battery-powered hedge-clipper. He tugged a fresh handkerchief out of his back pocket with his right hand, wiped his lips with it, and tucked it away. Snow, they had said on the radio. It was hard to believe, even though he could see the clouds building up on the far horizon.


Newbie and dry:

Jack walked onto the porch. He zipped up his jacket and blinked in the light. He pulled a handkerchief out and wiped his lips. He then put it back in his pocket. In his other hand he carried a hadge-clipper. He looked at the clouds. The radio had said there would be snow.


More full blow:

Jack took a step onto the porch. He grabbed the tab for his jacket zipper, pulled it and zipped it all the way up to his chin as he blinked into the bright light and the air. In his left hand he carried a hedge-clipper. The hedge-clipper was battery powered. Reaching into his back pocket with his right hand, he took out a handkerchief. He used the clean, new handkerchief to wipe his lips and then he moved his arm and put the handkerchief back in his back pocket. He had heard on the radio that the weather was calling for snow. He found it hard to believe that it might snow, but he could see snow clouds on the horizon. They were still far away.


Changed words:

Jack stepped onto the porch, pulling the little zipper tab up under his chin as he blinked into the brightness of the air. He carried a hedge-clipper, battery powered. Using his free hand, he pulled a crisp handkerchief from his back pocket and proceeded to wipe his lips before tucking it away. As he looked at the sky, he thought it hard to believe that the radio had predicted snow, but sure enough, he could see the build-up of clouds on the horizon.



He started down the path to the topiary, switching the hedge-clipper over to the other hand. It wouldn’t be a long job, he thought; a little touch-up would do it. The cold nights had surely stunted their growth. The rabbit’s ears looked a little fuzzy, and two of the dog’s legs had grown fuzzy green bonespurs, but the lions and the buffalo looked fine. Just a little haircut would do the trick, and then let the snow come.



Newbie and dry:

He walked down the path to the topiary. He moved the hedge-clipper to his other hand. It wouldn’t take long to touch up the shrubs he thought. They were probably not growing because of the cold nights. He thought the rabbit’s ears and dog’s legs may need trimmed. He didn’t think the lion nor buffalo needed trimmed. Once he finished, the snow could come.


More full blown:

Jack started walking down the path to the topiary. As he walked along ,he moved the hedge-clipper from one hand to the other. He was thinking that it wouldn’t be a tough job at all. He thought that the shrubs just needed a bit of a touch up. The nights had been cold and that would have stunted the growth of the shrubs. He thought the rabbit’s ears might have looked a little bit fuzzy. He also thought at least two of the dog’s legs had grown some making it look like they had bonespurs. Looking at the lion and the buffalo, he didn’t think the needed trimmed at all. After he finished trimming just a little it, the snow could come and he wouldn’t care.


Changed words:

He switched the hedge-clipper’s to his other hand as he walked the path to the topiary. All they needed was a touch-up, he thought. The cold nights had surely stunted their growth, making this a quick job. The rabbit’s ears looked a little fuzzy, and a couple of the dog’s legs had grown leafy bonespurs, but the lion and buffalo looked fine. After a bit of a haircut, the snow could fly all it wanted.


Kids Writing

Writing with balance

Many writers, including yours truly, struggle to write not just well but the bestest words. See that, I need to edit that. It’s very difficult to write out what you want to say. Sometimes you write the most perfect thing, then get disgusted when you read it back.

“How could I write that?! Why did I think that was so great!?” Those words can probably be heard often – if not out loud, at least echoing in someone’s head.

For me, coming up with a story isn’t that hard. Even writing it down isn’t that difficult. But then, reading it and editing it – that can be very difficult.

One problem I, and I’m sure many others struggle with, is writing with balance. Writing with balance can mean a couple things, so let me tell you what I mean.

For this post, writing with balance means putting the words on the page to say what you want to say, without those words sucking. I know someone laughed reading that, but I bet many writers are going, “yeah, that’s pretty hard to do.”

Maybe giving examples will help best rather than lecturing. Here is a bit of the infamous Harry Potter story:

From Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets chapter 10 The Rogue Bludger

Harry had no time to reply. At that very moment, a heavy black Bludger came pelting toward him; he avoided it so narrowly that he felt it ruffle his hair as it passed.
“Close one, Harry!” said George, streaking past him with his
club in his hand, ready to knock the Bludger back toward a Slytherin.
Harry saw George give the Bludger a powerful whack in the direction of Adrian Pucey, but the Bludger changed direction in midair and shot straight for Harry again.
Harry dropped quickly to avoid it, and George managed to hit it hard toward Malfoy. Once again, the Bludger swerved like a boomerang and shot at Harry’s head.
Harry put on a burst of speed and zoomed toward the other end of the field. He could hear the Bludger whistling along behind him. What was going on? Bludgers never concentrated on one player like this; it was their job to try and unseat as many people as possible. . . .
Fred Weasley was waiting for the Bludger at the other end.
Harry ducked as Fred swung at the Bludger with all his might; the
Bludger was knocked off course.
“Gotcha!” Fred yelled happily, but he was wrong; as though it
was magnetically attracted to Harry, the Bludger pelted after him
once more and Harry was forced to fly off at full speed.


If you haven’t read this series, you really should, if for no other reason than to know what everyone else is talking about.

Is this the most perfect section of prose you will ever read? No, probably not. Would Ms. Rowling say she wrote the best piece of literature ever? I doubt it. That’s kind of the point. Sometimes we get so caught up in making every bit of it perfect that it never actually gets written. The little inaccuracies and personal choices are what help define our voice and make us unique and interesting. There’s the wisdom of the day, young Padawan.

Ok, now, what could she have written? I’ve got a couple examples below of how it could have been written. I know I have caught myself writing this way and have heard many other authors write this way at times.


Alternate Universe 1 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets chapter 10 The Rogue Bludger

Harry had no time to reply. A Bludger came toward him. He swerved. The Bludger flew close to him. His hair was ruffled by Bludger passing by.
“Close one, Harry!” said George. George flew past Harry. George carried his club. Goerge hit the Bludger toward Adrian Pucey. The Bludger change direction and flew toward Harry.
Harry dropped to avoid the Bludger. George hit the Bludger toward Malfoy. The Bludger swerved toward Harry again.
Harry sped up and flew to the other end of the field. The Bludger flew behind him, making a whistling sound.  Harry wondered why the Bludger was after him and not others.
At the end of the field, Fred Weasley waited. Harry ducked as he flew by Fred. Fred swung at the Bludger. The Bludger was knocked off course.
“Gotcha!” Fred yelled. He was wrong. The Bludger after Harry. Harry flew off.


I think you would agree, that wasn’t as interesting. Was it telling the same thing? Yes, but it sounded more like reading the directions to a recipe than telling a gripping section of the story.

Again, I’m not being mean or critical of the work. Nor am I saying I write better, believe me, I don’t. I am using this to gain a better understanding of writing with that balance of saying what needs said and saying it well. Or saying it goodly if you like.

The next example is one I’ve seen quite a bit. It is the opposite of the first example. Instead of being dry and cut down, it goes the opposite way and says way too much. In an effort to make it interesting, the author gets it too flowery and has the opposite effect of what they want.


Alternate Universe 2 From Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets chapter 10 The Rogue Bludger

Harry couldn’t reply, he had too many things happening at once. He turned his head and looked over to see a heavy black Bludger flying toward him. Shifiting his weight and gripping the handle of his flying broomstick, he adjusted his course and avoided the Bludger that had been flying towards him.
“Close one, Harry!” said George. George flew past him lifting his arm which held his club. He looked at Harry, waving his club in the air with his arm. Harry watched George shift on the broomstick, guiding it toward the Bludger. George flew at the flying ball and Harry knew he was going to swing his arm and hit it toward a Slytherin.
Harry saw George hit the Bludger. George swung his arm and the club hit the Bludger. He hit it with a strong whack. The Bludger flew in the direction of Adrian Pucey. The Bludger changed direction, flying one way and then turning in the air toward Harry again.
Harry flew across the field and saw the Bludger heading toward him. Shifting his weight, Harry adjusted the broom’s course and dropped quickly to avoid the Bludger. He flew through the air with the Bludger flying behind him. Harry saw the Bludger getting closer. Again, Harry, turned the broom, flying in a different direction, and the Bludger followed him. Harry saw George and flew the broom toward him. As he flew by, George swung at the Bludger. George connected, hitting the Bludger toward Malfoy. The Bludger flew hard toward the opponent who looked to see it coming. Once again, the Bludger swerved and changed direction, turning and flying toward Harry again. The Bludger was flying toward’s Harry’s head.
Harry saw the Bludger flying towards him again. Flying faster, Harry flew towards the other end of the field. Behind him, he heard the Bludger flying quickly, making a whistling sound as it flew through the air.  Harry glanced worriedly behind him, seeing the Bludger close. What was going on? Bludgers never concentrated on one player like this; it was their job to try and unseat as many people as possible. . . .
Fred Weasley was at the other end. Harry flew toward Fred as Fred held his club, ready to hit the Bludger.
As he flew by Fred, Harry ducked, flying lower. Fred swung his club at the Bludger flying through the air. He hit the Bludger and knocked it off course. The Bludger flew away after being hit so hard by Fred.
“Gotcha!” Fred yelled. He was happy that he had hit the Bludger. He wasn’t happy when the Bludger changed direction. It flew through the air again towards Harry, seeming to be attracted to him. Harry turned his head and looked the Bludger. He saw the Bludger flying right towards him again. Harry turned the broom and adjusted his flight. The Bludger flew after Harry as Harry flew off across the field.



Compared to the example from the book. that was a lot of words and a lot of excess description. That can realy bog down a manuscript. If you compare each example with the original, you can see how the word choices in the original lead to a more pleasant reading experience. Could you find some things that could be different or even improved? Yeah, I’m sure you could and someone else may find something completely different that they think should be changed, and they would probably be right also. That’s what is great about stories – there is no one way to tell any story. There may be better ways, and by finding those better ways, you can improve your own writing.

Try to do what I’ve done – take an example from whatever book you are reading and rewrite parts of it. Start by writing out the original. It’s best if you do this by hand on paper. This sounds very tedious, but it can open your eyes to how a section is written and what the author is doing to make the story enjoyable and say it in their own voice.

Once you have the original copied out, rewrite it. Try to pare it down to the bare bones. Then try to rewrite it with the most extravagent flourishes possible. Maybe rewrite it as if another favorite author had written it. How would Harry Potter sound if H.G. Wells had written it? What about if Charles Schultz had written it? If you don’t know who they are, I’ll let you Google that on your own.




Kids Writing

They say we need a writing prompt, not a revolution

When my kids were in middle school, they participated in a program called Power of the Pen. A group of them would meet once a week after school and work on writing. At the end of the year, there was a contest amongst multiple schools. During the day, the kids would be given a writing prompt and would have a set time to write something about that prompt.

If you’ve never done much writing and aren’t sure what a writing prompt is, it’s just an idea or a sentence to spark your creativity. They are designed to make you think of something different and get the juices flowing so you can write.
Recently I have run into a great weekly writing prompt subscription. These are from Reedsy, a job type website where authors can connect with and hire editors and other professionals to help with their book publishing.

On Fridays, a list of writing prompts is sent out and displayed on their website at You can write anything you want based on any of the writing prompt ideas and submit them. They pick one to publish on their blog and receive $50.

I believe that most school kids are too young to legally enter the contest, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use the writing prompts. Go to the website each week to see the new prompts. Use your imagination and write a short story. Then, the following week, go compare your story to the one that was chosen. Think it stacks up?

Recenty, my favorite writing prompt was this:

In the human world, a magician reaches into a hat and pulls out a rabbit. In the rabbit world, the God hand has appeared again and a sacrifice must be made. This time, the Council of the Hop has chosen you.

That’s pretty good and sounds like it could be a fun story. This also seems to be appropriate for middle school kids, so it could be used with almost any age.

Even if your kids aren’t in a writing club, they can still do this on their own. Or, how about at breakfast or the dinner table? Look at the writing prompts and choose one for each night and everyone can make up a story on the spot or do a group story where everyone contributes.

These also would be great for trips. Throw out a writing prompt and makeup stories.

If you’ve been looking for a way to get kids interested in writing, start with just making stories. And if you aren’t good at coming up with the ideas, these are a great way to help get started.


My Background Writing

First weekend writing

Who wants to write?

Many people have ideas for stories or want to write a novel. Most of those people never will. You probably have friends that keep saying they want to write, but they never had. Maybe you are one of those people also!

I was one of those people. I had ideas but it was always too hard and would take too long. I’d do it sometime in the future. When you’re young, there’s always a future BUT it gets easier and easier to let time slip away and soon you realize years have gone by and you haven’t written anything.

Finally, I realized I would never do it unless I just sat down and did it. That’s just what I did in February of 2016.

The first weekend

Without any preconceived notions or worrying if it would be perfect or wondering if anyone would buy it, I started writing. By the end of the weekend I had written almost 15,000 words! I was amazed!

It was a fantastic start. If I did that every weekend for a month I would have a 60,000 word novel done. So why didn’t I do that?

Keep going

Good question. Like most people life happened. Other things took my focus. I started telling myself that my writing sucked. Etc etc. It took effort to sit back down and write more. I did finally finish the book, in a year, and sent it to an editor. It was over a month before I got it back and then I couldn’t look at what the editor said right away.


I was so nervous to look at what the editor had sent me. In my head, I was the best writer and this was the best story and there’s nothing they could say that would make it better. In fact, they were probably so impressed by this book that all they wrote was how fabulous it was and they’ve never read a book this good.

When I did look at the feedback, it wasn’t saying it was the best ever. A lot of notes to point out to the newbie author where the writing and the story were less than par. Not the great American Novel I had hoped for. After reading over the editor’s notes I agreed with almost everything and could see the weaknesses in the story.

That’s the editors job – to tell you where you story isn’t the best so you can fix it and make it best. I decided to take that feedback and use it to improve. I read what was written and really thought about it.

What did I do? I ripped out about half of the book. Stuff that really did stink. Leaving some good writing. What about the writing I did the initial weekend, how did that fare?

Actually, I kept most of it. It wasn’t bad. When I didn’t care how things went or how things sounded, I wrote pretty good. What made the writing take longer was I started actually trying and thinking about it.

There’s the lesson. We can be much better writer’s when we don’t worry about our writing. We get so caught up in our hopes and desires and we want it to be perfect that we actually are less perfect than we would be if we didn’t care about any of that.